I’ve had some kind people ask how I am doing since I posted my last blog. For the record, I am doing fine. I can promise you that if I weren’t doing fine, I would not have been able to write all that I did on my previous posts, or other posts where I shared some of my personal life. If I weren’t doing well, I would have kept all of that information in my soul and allowed it to continue bubbling through resentment, hate, anger and hurt. The fact that I shared as much as I did means I am doing better.
As I continue to grow and develop in my years, I still have questions that don’t have acceptable answers. I am coming to you for that. Based on my experience, I’ve had to reconsider my definitions of certain words in my vocabulary. I’ve had to consider changing my views on certain positions as well. If you feel so inclined to help me find answers to these questions, I will greatly appreciate it.
The only definition of family I have is not a good one. How do you define family now? What does it mean when your biological family hasn’t come to see you in almost 6 years of living out of state? What is family to you?
2. I have to redefine what the word “friend” means.
Not too long ago, the word “friend” was very important to me. I could say to my friend, “I would do anything for you”. That friend said, “I can’t say that.” The word friend was an extremely important word to me, however I am finding out the definition isn’t the same for others. In some ways, not even close to similar. Who would you consider a friend? And what would you do for a friend?
Note: one thing I have not gotten better at, and that’s finding friendship now. Due to my experience with the above question, I am afraid to ask for new friends, not knowing how to define them, how to build trust with them and how to connect. Be patient and understanding.
3. I am learning it may not be possible for a single female to have married male friends.
Growing up with three older brothers and being a daddy’s girl, I tend to get along better with men. There is absolutely nothing to fear with that. Many men my age are married. That’s not the surprise to me. What is surprising is the fact that their wives don’t think it’s appropriate to have lunch with a female friend, or coffee, or even a phone conversation (although nobody uses the phone anymore anyway). I guess you can call me singly naïve, but I don’t understand this. Where is the trust?
4. Is there anyone out there willing to do anything for a friend?
Who can I call at 3 in the morning when I am crying, hurting, in the hospital or in jail? One of my favorite songs when I first became a Christian was Michael W. Smith’s “Friends”. One verse, “A friend will not say never, ‘cause the welcome will not end.” Does that ring true now? Does a friend “not say never”?
Disclaimer: Just for the record, I am having some anxiety about posting the question on friendship. I have some good people in my life now who call me “friend” that I work with. Please don’t be scared and please don’t leave. I won’t call you at 3:00 in the morning. But I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee or glass of wine after work. And I love kids, so having a family is fine with me.
Dear world, your thoughts to any or all of these will be greatly appreciated.