It’s Friday afternoon and I am preparing my heart and mind for this weekend. I was invited to take part in First Baptist, Richmond’s DNow weekend with the youth and I said yes. What?? It’s the first time I’ve taken part in any leadership aspect of youth group since I came home 21 months ago. It’s my first time doing DNow with a youth group as well. I’ve done youth weekends before, but not a DNow focus. I can’t lie. I am a bit nervous and anxious.
The theme for the weekend is AmazinGrace . The youth created that theme. There will be a combination of worship, games, bible study, family groups, and meals. I am a small group leader, who will be leading the bible study for 6th and 7th grade girls. Amazing Grace…with youth. I have prepared for the study and I believe I have prepared for whatever my heart and mind need to prepare for. But I am careful. I don’t want to prepare too much because I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know what to expect from them, from the weekend, and from me.
I have been doing so much work over the past few months in preparation for what is to come, but I don’t know what’s coming. I know what I want, but I don’t know what God wants. If you’ve read my previous entries, I had planned for this great adventure into “happiness” and planned this great plan. Without my knowing, God went a different direction with that plan. You haven’t seen updated posts from me because I am not sure where I am right now. Although, you may catch a glimpse in my previous post. I am working, yet life got in the way and I had to work through some personal stuff that I didn’t imagine and it is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. It has been really hard. Even though i don’t know the outcome, i know something good is coming. I have to trust God for that. I have to trust someone.
I remember a phrase someone shared with me a long time ago, “You can plan all you want to, but leave the window opened for the Holy Spirit.” I preached on that topic at church a couple of years ago. Plan all you want, but be free for the Spirit to take over. I am nervous about this weekend, and I am preparing for some good and meaningful times, but I am leaving the window open. Based on all my experience, hanging out with youth brings about some good things, things I never imagined or plan for. That window was open and the youth broke right through and blew me away. Their heart and their spirit, full of amazing grace.
I have no idea what will happen this weekend that will culminate with worship on Sunday morning. I am praying. I am listening. I am preparing. But I am also leaving the window open. This weekend will focus on Amazing Grace and the window will be open for grace abound, for the youth and for me. We will be standing there with open hearts and open arms, for the grace of God to come through the window.
If there is anything I’ve learned in the past, the youth will teach me a few things too – and I can’t wait. God’s grace will come through them and it will be a wonderful thing.