It’s Hard to Describe

IMG_2277It’s hard to describe
You won’t be able to understand
Until you’ve been through it
Until you’ve fallen down that hole
The dark, grungy, deep dark hole
And worked your way back up again
You’ve pulled and pulled
You’ve pushed and pushed
Then you fall back again
Try to make your way back up
If you ever do

It’s hard to describe
When that haze begins to form
It overshadows all you’ve done
No matter where you go
Or what you do
That fog is always there
From the darkness through the storm
You never know when it will come
And when it will ever subside
You hide behind your isolated masks
To hide the shame, the weary soul
In a barrier of cloth
An escape into a sleepless sleep
You collapse into the valley of
Never-ending work
Rushing to perfect the imperfect
Before witnesses realize you aren’t

It’s hard to describe
When you can’t see through the darkness
It’s always around you
And always will be
You do all you can
To try and escape the rain
But you find out that
You will forever be hampered
To the darkness and the pain

It’s hard to describe
The water crashing over top of you
And you struggle to reach above wave
To break through the surface
To stand on your own, to breathe again
You will.  You know you will
But when you do
You are drained, fatigued, exhausted
You turn, searching for the shoreline
And you find that you are further away
Then you ever were before
And there is nobody there
With a float or light or boat
To bring you home
Because you are afraid
To let them in and
You end up fighting this
All on your own

It’s hard to describe

Linda C. Moore (c) 2013

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2 Responses to It’s Hard to Describe

  1. I do understand. I remember when I was in college I wrote in a letter to a friend, “It feels as if there is a hole in my head and all the happiness leaks out.” Still haven’t managed to get that darn thing patched up.

  2. Pingback: Amazing Grace, Open Windows and DNow | Linda's Bloughts

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