On the 8th Day of Christmas, the Good Lord gave to me, the gift of trials and tribulations? What??
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I have been writing about the 12 Days of Christmas and what the Good Lord has given to me each day. In scripture, the 12 Days of Christmas start Christmas Day and end on the night of January 5th, the eve before Epiphany. Each day I have been writing about something on my mind and in my heart that happened on that day as a way to express the gifts given in the midst of life. It is the journey from the birth of the Christ child to the Day of Epiphany, when there is a celebration of God presented to the world in the human form of Jesus Christ. God becomes a revelation to the people, in human form. What a gift. This helps me to remember to live in the moment and be present in the day, especially during the 12 Days of Christmas because something even better is coming at the end of that time.
Yesterday was no exception as I continue the journey this week, but I am finding it a little hard to find the gift that came out of yesterday, the 8th Day. The gift I received was surrounded by fog, rain, hurt, and confusion. It’s clouded up within my soul and I am finding it hard to find the gift in the midst of hurt. You put your heart and soul into something or into someone, giving your all and yet you get hurt in the end. Do you know what I mean? It can be a job, a friendship, a relationship, an accident, rejection, the interview process, or simply life.
The harder thing is this, there is nothing I can do to change the outcome. The moment happened and it is out of my control. I have to face it without fighting, without clarity, without explanation. It happened and I have to figure out what to do next. What I am left with is finding out what my piece of the puzzle is and why it doesn’t fit. What could I have done differently? Was it me? Why did it happen at this particular moment? What do I learn from this experience? How can I grow from it and be better for it? How do I accept it and move on especially after I worked so hard, so long, and put everything into it, including trust, faith, promise and hope?
I am going to need your help on this one. Finding the gift in rejection and let down is hard. Finding hope at the end of the trial is hard to see. Finding the gift in something that you put your heart and soul into, only to come out on the other side of it knocked to the ground, is difficult. And to be honest, some days I get tired of working on my “stuff” and wondering what I need to do differently. Because if I am honest with myself, I know it’s me and I have work to do. And today, I am too tired to work on it.
If there is anything to look forward to, it is the promise that on the 12th Day there will be a celebration. I can celebrate the gift of God in Jesus Christ. I have no doubt that God revealed himself in the human form of Jesus Christ, so as to understand us a little better. God can understand what we go through, the trials and tribulations that we ll go through. Maybe through these 12 days, whether I see the gifts as plain as day or they become too difficult to see through the pain, I will finally see and feel God on the other side of it. God will be there, waiting for me with open arms. He will hold me tight, wipe away my tears and say, “I know how you feel.”